|I LOVE HER = ME!|
No Chemo today.
You known the saying, "Plan for the worst and hope for the best?" well that isn't true for me...Ever it seems lately. A critical part of my white blood cell count that fights infection dropped considerably over the weekend. Mind you when I asked my nurse if this were to happen last week "would chemo still be a green light..."and she said, "Yes absolutely." Well that was a lie. My doctor superseded and doesn't want to overkill my bone marrow with too much chemo when I'm down so low. So at best I may get chemotherapy in two weeks or longer..
I was so upset that I had a freaking meltdown in the doctors office, crying and sobbing. Ugh what a sight, but I was rational (besides the crying) and I understand they have my best interest at heart. You have to understand it's like coaching yourself up to go into hell. So when this stuff gets delayed it's like reliving the nightmare of planning for the worst all over again. Plus my poor parents drove 11 hours to get here to to take care of me for 3 weeks. Now they have to go back home and come back god knows when. This also happened the last round in December and what a fiasco that was! So let's just say I'm all around fed up.