Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Week 29 -Re-Branding and a Little Let Down

Although today was a bit blah it meant I was finally able to start the re-branding of my blog!!! I am so thrilled. Huge credit goes out to my friend Julie who did the banner and amazing character I've been dreaming of for 6 months. She is amazing and completely captured the vision of an effervescent girl/woman. FYI Julie does freelance work so let me know if you're ever in need of a resource.
As most of you know when I shaved my head during chemo I had this crazy cowlick that looked like a swirl. What I thought was going to be the worst part of this all, getting rid of my hair, turned out to be one of the most amusing. I would catch a glance of myself in the mirror and just laugh and make fun of myself all day. It's my goal to carry on that feeling of finding the happiness in the midst of a bad situation. I think we can all identify with The Girl With The Swirl. I have more progress on the blog pages to go but I just had to release it today!

No Chemo today.
You known the saying, "Plan for the worst and hope for the best?" well that isn't true for me...Ever it seems lately. A critical part of my white blood cell count that fights infection dropped considerably over the weekend. Mind you when I asked my nurse if this were to happen last week "would chemo still be a green light..."and she said, "Yes absolutely." Well that was a lie. My doctor superseded and doesn't want to overkill my bone marrow with too much chemo when I'm down so low. So at best I may get chemotherapy in two weeks or longer..

I was so upset that I had a freaking meltdown in the doctors office, crying and sobbing. Ugh what a sight, but I was rational (besides the crying) and I understand they have my best interest at heart. You have to understand it's like coaching yourself up to go into hell. So when this stuff gets delayed it's like reliving the nightmare of planning for the worst all over again. Plus my poor parents drove 11 hours to get here to to take care of me for 3 weeks. Now they have to go back home and come back god knows when. This also happened the last round in December and what a fiasco that was!  So let's just say I'm all around fed up.
Eventually my family tried to cheer me up with food, which worked. Here we are eating our fat asses off. Mmm chocolate cake!!


  1. love the re-branding, the picture your friend made is too cute!! Hope your counts get up soon, in the mean time I hope you get to enjoy lots more chocolate cake :)

  2. i love the new blog look! i am sorry they rescheduled your treament; i know it's for the best but i know that had to be so emotionally draining to be geared up then let down. I'll be praying for you and sending you love and light and laughter during this waiting period and then the treatment period. liep, sister!

  3. I <3 girl with the swirl!!! So glad you got it up. I'm glad the family time/chocolate/dragrace may have helped you feel better. Love you

  4. First,LOVE the new blog look!
    Second, how disappointing that they delayed your chemo. Such a huge mental hurdle to prepare for something like that. Don't feel bad about the meltdown. I had one once in the middle of the ct scan waiting room in the hospital and there was a roomful of patients. (:o I am glad you are going to be safe though.

  5. OMG I totally understand how you could be so disappointed! Its a letdown for sure but as you already know, these things will happen when they are ready to happen and your doctors know best. At least now you get to enjoy Valentines day without sleeping through it! (Looking on the bright side!) ..
    Plus you can keep up with your Outlander reading hahahaa! :) Love you tons!

  6. LOVE the Girl with the Swirl! Kinda bummed to read about them putting off chemo but glad that your doc is looking out for you. Keep the posts coming :)

  7. Thanks so much you all for the Rave reviews. I am so proud of it. Your support and funny, encouraging comments make my day!

  8. I love you ashley!! Your new blog is fantastic. Miss you and sorry to hear about the delay.

    Im in a weird mood so i picked my old xbox name to comment ;)..