Thursday, March 22, 2012

Week 35 - It's a Mad World

I am so obsessed with the series Mad Men. In a week and a half I've zipped through almost all the series on Netflix, anticipating this week's premiere. I L.O.V.E this show. Please tell me some of you out there watch this so I can talk shit on how much I love to hate Don Draper? And how Sterling is freaking hilarious with his one liners.

While I'm not caught up in ad world, I'm trying to take more small walks. Here's the current predicament, which is pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. I'm pretty sure I have muscle atrophy from completely suspending all my physical activities I used to do 8 months ago + 2 1/2 weeks of solid bed rest have now left me tired and sore from being in the same positions. It's like my bed has a crater and I'm a moon unit officially parked on it. So in my attempt to get rid of my muscle soreness I try and walk, but I get quite tired from lack of activity, so I can't push myself a lot otherwise the artery in my neck feels like it's going to burst. Lol what a joke I feel like right now. I could start physical therapy when I have built up enough stamina, says my oncologist. However, since I'm pretty familiar with how to work out, stretch, and build muscle I can do it myself. I just need to be extra slow working into it.

I had a good phone conversation with a friend I made in Moffitt while I was there in August and September. We both shared our "war stories" of hospitalization in the past week. I completely hate we've (ESP they) gone through rough times dealing with our health provider staff and system. It's such a frustrating, helpless feeling when you feel things are going wrong with your treatment (which has been rare in my case) and you have no impact on changing it, or you're too damn fed-up with it all, you have no choice with it but to go with the flow. I can't even describe the level of stress a patient feels walking into the hospital some days. You're thinking about annoying problems like the previous paragraph, to someone next to you telling you they're terminal, tracking down insurance and providers regarding billing errors, what your blood levels are, am I going to have an 8 hour day here, am I eating enough, do people think I'm just on vacation and I'm not really sick, what if cancer ever comes back, how long is this going to take for me to get back to normalcy? I mean, you name it, I think it goes through your head. I'm currently trying to not freak out on my insurance company who is trying to dodge payment and pass onto me. My parents have been a godsend about this issue. I would be totally clueless with how fogged up I have been on medication to figure this all out. I'm so glad I got that paperwork in order days after I was diagnosed that made them legally allowed to handle this stuff with me. They've been here a month. Can you believe that!?

Next week is my sister, mom's and my birthday. I keep forgetting about it. I've been too distracted to care, at least about mine. Obviously I'm very pleased to be here alive so this year does feel special in that respect. My mom has a significant milestone birthday so I've completed a project I'll update you on later next week once her day is all said and done. I'm pretty excited to give it to her.

Today I went for tea with my mom at the Starbucks near my apartment. When we sat down to drink we saw this duck nesting with her eggs in a corner outside. It really is spring!


  1. Awesome duck picture! How amazing sitting right there next to Starbucks, must love the scenerey there I guess, lol.
    Sorry to hear about your issues with insurance, they can be such a pain to deal with especially when all you want is to get better and focus on your glad you have your parents to help. Does the hospital have some kind of patient coordinator/social worker that might be able to help guide in that respect maybe?

  2. Maybe mama duck likes the coffee! Yes and no in regards to the social worker,thanks. Its mostly billing department from the hospital and insurance at the moment. Luckily my doctor is very happy to speak on my behalf in case the insurance continues to dispute.. We'll see, were optimistic about some of it. Just a long process, that's all. :)